Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Pearce's B-Day...Part I

It’s amazing how sometimes the emotions associated with the loss of a loved one can slowly sneak up on you while other times it hits you like a 2 x 4 across the back of your head.

I’m missing my boy a lot lately, that’s to be expected I guess because one year ago today I was in labor with him. Pearce, my Stone of Joy, made his grand debut at only 27 weeks. Way too early if you ask me but he came in his own time and thank God he did.

Jon and I have a funny way of moving through life. We plan, life happens, and very seldom do the two things line up the way we thought they should.

So the plan:
1. Drive to CO mid-July (Pearce was due in October) to make sure Pearce is born in Colorado with the amazing doctor that our friend Renee introduced us to.
2. Work from CO remotely until Pearce comes.
3. Have baby
4. Return to TX

What life brought:
It was going to be a beautiful day in Galveston (which if you’ve ever been in South Texas in July you already know how miraculous this story is) so myself, Jon, and our friend Y-at decided to head to the beach. We found a beautiful spot and started the normal cycle of cooling off in the water and warming up on the beach.

I was feeling a little off but didn’t think anything of it. After a fun and pretty uneventful day I let the boys know that I was starving and they needed to feed me STAT! So we made our way to Papasito’s for some delicious fajitas and margaritas.  Okay, I only had a bean burrito and Shirley Temple but still it was delicious! We finally got in, placed our order, and began to eat but I could hardly get anything down, I was still feeling off. After playing with my food for a while we finally finished our meal and called it a night. I slept just fine but I woke up still feeling a bit off with a mild bellyache. Jon of course told me to call the doctor right away but I assured him that I was just having Braxton Hicks contractions.  Jon with his unbelievable Googling abilities looked up how to get rid of Braxton Hicks contractions. We spent the next few hours following Google to a tee:
Drink plenty of water – check
Walk around – check
Lay down – check
Take a shower – check

Even with all of my efforts my off-ness and bellyache continued. Jon finally put his foot down and made me call the doctor. They of course told me to go into the hospital right away.

There was a really nice hospital just down the road from us so we headed that way. We walked in and asked for Maternity.  They said that they didn't have a maternity ward and to go to another hospital in the area (now what kind of hospital sends away a lady in pre-term labor – well I guess this one does – and it eventually turned out that we were glad they did). The hospital they referred us to was built in the 70’s and I’m not sure they’ve replaced the carpet since the place was built, yeah that’s right a hospital with carpet EEEWWW! Well Jon refused to take me there – this was one of those times I was so glad he was my husband. Instead of the Dirty Shag Carpet Hospital he took me to The Methodist Hospital .

We got checked in and they put me in triage to see if I was really in labor or I was faking it.  I guess they assumed I was not really in labor because I walked in and told them in a calm voice that my doctor told me to head to the hospital because he thought I may have been in pre-term labor. Before anything started I told the nurse the whole story about Pearce and how he had been diagnosed with anencephaly. They had me change out of my clothes so they could check me and I was 3.5cms dilated and completely effaced. The nurse said “Sure enough you’re in labor it’s a good thing you came in.”  I lost it. I wasn’t ready, this was not a part of the plan.  It was too early but it was happening and I couldn’t stop it.

They then told me that they had to perform another ultrasound to verify whether Pearce really did have anencephaly.  If he didn’t it would change how the doctor would want to respond to the pre-term labor. I can tell you Jon and I have never prayed harder for a miracle than in those few minutes before the ultrasound technician came to do the confirmation. She came through the door and applied the jelly and began the scan and sure enough he had anencephaly. This may sound crazy but in that moment it was almost as if I was hearing his diagnosis for the first time. It ripped my heart out. But something else unexpected happened, in that moment, a calm came over me and I realized this wasn’t my plan this was His and everything was going to be okay.

Jon was doing a lot of work behind the scenes getting the parents informed, the girls taken care of and our Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (nilmdts) photographer lined up. My mom and Jon’s mom we’re able to get the last two seats on the last two flights to Houston that night. Everything was falling into place.

To be continued...

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